Affirmation

And we are going to continue in our series this morning, our Litton series, which Becky started last week. And we're actually going to stay in the same book, we're going to stay in Matthew for another week, actually a week following this as well, to follow that same story, that awkward story of Jesus being tempted by Satan in the wilderness. But before we do that, to calm some of my nerves, let's pray together.

Father, I thank you for this space. I thank you for the opportunity to be on this stage. I thank you for every single person who came in here today, Lord.

I thank you for the new chapter that this church is starting this very morning. I just, I can't praise you enough for this season. And so I pray that you be with me this morning as I speak, as I speak to the best of my ability, to what I think you want me to share with your people.

I love you and I thank you. Amen. Okay, so last week we started our wilderness series for Lent.

And like I said, over the entire five weeks that we're doing this, we're trying to illustrate that the truth is that even in the wilderness, seasons long or short of wilderness, we aren't alone and we can find healing in those places of wilderness. We can find redemption in those places of wilderness.

And the loving embrace of God follows us into that space. And it's so important for us to remember that, just as that amazing song, Highlands, was just telling us. It's everywhere.

It's the mountaintop and the valley. He is everywhere. And that's what this season, that's what this series is about.

And in the second week, again, we're continuing with Matthew 4, chapters 1 through 11. The time that Jesus had that uncomfortable interaction with Satan. And the scripture, which should be coming up shortly, reads, Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

After fasting 40 days and 40 nights, he was hungry. Giant understatement. The tempter came to him and said, If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.

Jesus answered, It is written, Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. If you are the Son of God, he said, throw yourself down.

For it is written, And they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. Jesus answered him, It is also written, Do not put your Lord God to the test. Again, probably in a frustrating state, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.

All of this I will give to you, he said, if you will bow down and worship me. And Jesus said to him, Away from me, Satan. For it is written, Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.

Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended to him. Now a few quick things before we dissect all this goodness. Scripture is so wild, because legit, right before we get into this awkward situation, Jesus is baptized.

Remember that? And I know this is just a recap, but it's still insane, right? Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John.

But John tried to deter him, saying, I need to be baptized by you. And do you come to me? Jesus replied, Let it be so.

It is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness. And as soon as Jesus was baptized, he went out from the water. And at that moment, heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and aligned on him.

And a voice from heaven said, This is my Son in whom I am well pleased. And then he leaves that glorious moment and goes right to the wilderness. From one giant high to a really big low, the waters of the Jordan, to the barren wilderness.

Presumably by himself, right? Huge crowds to see him being baptized. Now, by himself.

And the Spirit that kind of came on him, resting like a dove, right? Is now the Spirit driving him into this darkness. Same one.

And now we have, instead of the inviting waters of baptism, we have this weird fire and awkwardness of temptation or testing. And it was very clear that the heavens opened the day he was baptized. Now it kind of feels like he's just entered hell.

And one other thing to note. I know this chapter starts out with the Holy Spirit leading him. And that's frustrating for a lot of people, and I understand why.

But the Holy Spirit isn't tempting him, right? The Holy Spirit is leading him to this testing. It is not of God to be pulling the devil and forcing these things out of Jesus.

It is just a testing to see, perhaps, if he's ready to use all of those miracles. Remember, Jesus hasn't performed anything yet. Some people think that this is the christening, like just how we are baptized, that he's now able to perform things.

I like to think he was always able to perform things, and he was kind of a brat kid, and so he would do weird miracle tricks on people. But no one wrote about that, because no one wants to write that Jesus is a brat. Either way, this was an opportunity for him to prove how he would use his powers.

So it's not that the Spirit wanted him to fail in any way. The Spirit wanted him to prove who he actually was. And so this morning, we're going to specifically look at Matthew 4, verses 5-7, that middle piece.

And it starts with, The devil took him to the holy city. So, it's awkward. These people are enemies, right?

And Jesus gives permission to the devil, not only to be in his presence, but also to go with him somewhere. Either realistically or theoretically. Right?

Jesus is giving that permission. And it's this wild illustration of strength and also humility. With one action of saying, yes, I'll go with you there.

Doesn't matter, you're not going to get anything out of me, but I'll go with you there, sure. Show me what you want. And the holy city that they went to is Jerusalem.

It was commonly known amongst the Jews that, of the day, that the city of Jerusalem was the holiest city there was. Even their coins were inscribed with Jerusalem, the holy city. So no doubt, that is where Satan took Jesus.

And also, this should give us pause to realize that even in the holiest places, or what is deemed the holiest places, Satan was roaming. And then Satan had Jesus stand on the highest point of the temple, the pinnacle. And he placed him, otherwise known as the wing of the temple.

It was set so high that looking down, he would sure be dizzy. So dropping down, he'd sure be dead. And since Satan couldn't bend Jesus in the desert, he brought him to another place, right?

He couldn't lure him by the quench of hunger. He couldn't do it. Bread didn't do it for Jesus.

So he thought perhaps he could do it with his spiritual hunger. And in his mind, of course, the temple is where you go to get Jesus. It's the place that at the time, God would be most near to his people.

That's where God dwelled, the temple. So of course you bring Jesus there. So surely, God would show up and rescue him at the temple.

We wouldn't want that scene to be bad. If you are the son of God, he said, throw yourself down. For it is written, he will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

And just like so many other times, this is a moment of Satan twisting scripture. Just like he's done with misogyny. Just like he's done with slavery.

Just like he's done to oppress anyone. The scripture is quoting in Psalm 91, which reads, If you say the Lord is my refuge, and you make the most high your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent, for he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.

They will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. We often like to say how cunning and sharp the devil is. But honestly, I think we give him way too much credit.

Particularly in the brains department. Because perhaps this pushes more. If when we do that, when we say the devil is so smart, the devil is so cunning, it pushes more of the responsibility off of us onto him.

He's not that smart. He tried to use scripture against the Son of God. Come on now.

But in his small mind, if he convinced Jesus to jump, and Jesus wasn't who he says he was, because again, the Jewish people have been waiting and waiting and waiting for their Savior for hundreds of years, and many have come in Jesus' place to say that they are the Messiah, and they are not. They have failed.

And so Satan's like, well, either he jumps, and we watch him die, and then we prove again that it's not him, or he jumps, and God rescues him, and then that's it. I win. He listened to me.

And God knows that. But why specifically did Satan say, if you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, and God will protect you? Right?

It's specific at the temple, because so many people would be there to watch it. And the thing is, if it did happen, if Jesus was saved, I mean, that right there would verify him on Instagram, like 100%. All of his followers would happen.

Before he'd have to go to every single town, before he'd need a single disciple, he got thousands just by that act. That's all he'd have to do to prove that he was actually the Messiah, because all the other ones who came before him said they could do these wonders, and they couldn't. And if he could, that'd be it.

Because who else but God could do something like that? And the devil knew, oh, so deeply knew of this human desire for affirmation, to have love be put on display. Right?

To make sure that other people know how much he is loved, how much God loves him, and how much God would do to protect him. Everyone else has to know that. Put it on display.

You are the son of God. Throw yourself down. Satan is tempting Jesus to force, or to push the Father into this supernatural, miraculous event.

And Satan cut right to that desire that we have to gain approval from God, and for God to illustrate that approval for everyone else to see. We do it all the time with our relationships. We want that.

We want that affirmation. We seek it out. We actually seek out affirmation in many places that can't give it to us, instead of the one that can't.

All the time. And could you imagine that heavenly scene? Angels just swooping in like a net.

Be glorious. If only people could see it, then they would believe. It would be the best self-promotion in history.

And then our Jesus looks at him and says, I'm hoping in like the snarkiest of ways, too, because this conversation is very catty. And he says, oh yeah? Well, guess what?

It's also written that you should not tempt the Lord your God. He doesn't even care to say more, because he doesn't have to. He doesn't.

He saw right through the devil's manipulation. And also, he knows scripture better than him. Right?

You think Jesus spent what appeared to be his entire childhood in the temple and didn't learn anything? Come on, Satan. You watched him do that.

Now, this should force us to stop and realize that if Jesus refused to demand a spectacle of God, so should we. And it reminds me of the quote, trying to prove that God, trying to prove God is like trying to defend a lion. He doesn't need your help.

Just unlock the cage. And using Psalm 91 against him. Psalm 91 was written for protection from people like the devil.

And the devil tried to twist it and get Jesus to fall. Now, a lot of pastors use this passage specifically in Matthew chapter 4 to talk about our own temptations. All you have to do is go to the YouTube.

Every single... I've watched them. They're all about this.

Okay? And they're about the temptations that so easily entangle us, right? So easily separate us from God.

So easily make us run from God's love. And I understand why. It's because we humans are so fragile.

We cave easily to sin and separation from God. I like to liken our memories of God and his goodness and love for us to the character of Dory the fish in the movie Finding Dory. The moment it happens, the moment we turn, we have completely forgotten about what God has done.

That's precisely why the Israelites had to have all of those festivals. It was because they would forget too. They needed to gather every so often and remember what God has done.

Or else it would be gone. And the generations behind them would never know. Our hearts are fragile and forgetting.

Our memories of God's goodness are often forgotten by the next crisis or even by the next topic of conversation. Which is why all the way back in the garden story, even though Eve and Adam could walk with God, could experience his holiness and goodness in a tangible working in the garden kind of way, the moment Eve's pride is at stake, the moment she's tempted with the ability to know more and then God says she's even capable of knowing, she takes it.

And Adam does too. Because they're human and broken and fragile. They're not perfect like God.

We share that human sin of pride. We all do. And this, that story, there are many stories within scripture in which we should be talking about how these things lead us into temptation.

I just don't personally think this is one of them. That's an example story that we should talk about with the devil tempting humans. Or us eagerly running to him.

And most of the sermons end with, well, if Jesus was tempted, you will be too. Duh. I mean.

And also, it's funny how often we compare ourselves to the one who knows no sin. Okay. Yeah, Jesus was tempted.

We will be too. But what do we mean when we say that word temptation? The actual definition of temptation from Google states that it is the inclination to do something wrong or unwise.

Funnily enough, this story is referenced in the third definition on Google about temptation. So you mean to tell me, Mr. Google, that he who knows no sin had an inclination to do something wrong or unwise. No.

Eve did. Because she was human. So like many others, and I don't think it's necessarily totally wrong to call this a temptation story.

Everybody does it. Personally, for me, it just doesn't sit right. Because I see this as a testing.

Because the word, the Greek word, parazo, that's used here, can be used in both a testing and a tempting way. And so often, we interpret things wrongly, right, within scripture, and because we get away from language after language after language of interpretation, that we forget. And we equate it to us because that's the only way in which we know how to see the world through our own eyes.

But really, this was a testing of Jesus. And I know it's often difficult for us to hear those sermons when speakers are relating a story in scripture to our own temptations in real life. Because it forces us to wrestle with our sin and confront some real ugliness inside of us.

I get it. I won't be doing that today. I'll be doing something much worse.

Because there are plenty of stories in scripture that force us to do this. Plenty. Again, I just don't think this is one of them.

And I'm afraid that focusing our takeaway from the story on our own temptations is actually kind of our easy way out of this. Because what's more likely, everyone? That we would be the character in the story that embodies he who knows no sin or the one putting him to the test to prove it?

If we're like anyone in the story it's not our Jesus it's the one testing him. And I know that's not welcome news to all of you so for the purposes of this sermon I am happy to be the only one in this room who currently identifies with the devil.

I'll take this one for us. No worries. But I will say in general as followers of Christ something to take away is that we should be less afraid of the devil coming to get us and more afraid

of our willingness to welcome him. That's a whole other sermon but it's important. Okay.

Anyways. So remember how I said it's been quite some time since I've been on this stage. Up until December of last year from June on all of us the preaching team had been preaching quite often.

One time I think it was three times in a month that I spoke. And so I was used to being up here all the time. And it's not I haven't been absent because I haven't been asked to be up here it's because I just couldn't do it.

Now I may always as we've seen today be a little messy up here but from the very beginning of my preaching journey I made a promise to myself that I would never stand on this stage and lie to you or state anything that I didn't believe in my heart to be true. And for the past three months I wasn't sure I haven't been sure of a lot of things.

mainly because a few months ago I realized that just like the devil I have also been trying to force Jesus into performing supernatural events all of my life. In fact my first memory of God is me doing this. I must have been eleven or twelve at the time and I remember sitting in my backyard on a bench and it was right after my family had to tragically

put down my first dog Sandy and I was sitting there in the back for what felt like forever but I was a kid so that could mean anything over five minutes so I was there and I remember begging and begging and begging for God to bring back Sandy. I said you can do it and I came from a super charismatic church and so I knew that I served the God of miracles so God could do this

because he loves me and he's going to show me that he loves me and so I sat there with my little heart and I begged and begged and begged even asked for signs the wind come on kid like it's ingrained and I just sat there and at the time of me asking this she was already cremated but I had such faith that yeah well I was right that I thought he was going to bring her back that I just sat there and prayed and prayed well he did it and my little heart

was crushed now I knew I was disappointed in God in that moment but what I didn't realize until a few months ago is how that moment shaped my faith I didn't realize that I internalized that moment not as Jesus will not perform for me but as Jesus doesn't love me enough to show it and also more tragically can Jesus even do it fast forward a few decades to last December and I thought everything was going fine and then one day sitting there scrolling through Instagram and I

came across a story of a little girl who the family basically said the doctors have declared her dead but we are praying for a miracle and I of course was like yes I will pray with you and I was just enthralled in this story and it turns out days later that I found out that this little girl from the moment in which we had all started praying for her was actually in the morgue and not on life support and the moment I found that out I had so many feelings

come over me so many I was frustrated at the church because I thought they were being spiritually manipulative to people all across the world I was frustrated at the parents for allowing their daughter to be used as a martyr to usher in this new spiritual awakening for their community and there was also this deep-seated fear again that Jesus couldn't actually do it and all I know is from the beginning of that season the spirit just like he did with Jesus kept pulling me along deeper into this wilderness

wilderness of questions wilderness of so many doubts which truly sucked but I knew I had to do it I could not stop thinking about her and at times during December and January my faith was so low that it was almost non-existent and I've been a Christian all my life I couldn't even listen to worship music couldn't bring myself to it and I was internally panicked I mean I work at a church as a pastor I'm the one who's supposed to have faith what's going on I couldn't figure out

why this story brought me to such a dark place either because I don't know these people and at the time I hadn't made the connection to my past and truly what you know through the internet isn't always the whole story and so I was also making assumptions so tangible me because I'm an eight decided well now that I'm panicked about the fact that I feel like I know absolutely nothing about God like nothing I'm going to focus by starting over and really just trying to figure out what God's character

actually is I think that will help me and this seemed like a noble effort so I was like okay I'm going to go down this path so I would ask someone call it demand God to show me aspects of himself throughout the day in my dreams through other people whatever it was I wanted to see it I would say if you are who you say you are tell me show me I was angry about people asking Jesus to perform and my thick heart had not made the connection

that I was also asking Jesus to perform I wasn't there yet so every week I'd ask for a new piece of his character to be revealed and I felt like I was coming up short all the time yes he's loving and merciful and kind and pretty cool but none of those things seemed like enough for me to fully know and trust him again I realized I wasn't getting to the heart of the issue and looking back on that time I never felt anger from the Lord at all

as disappointed as I felt in him I never felt it back it's like he was saying I'm not going to play your game no but I will stay right here next to you even though you're acting like a little devil child I will stay right here for as long as it takes you to figure this out but I will not perform for you so I walked around for weeks being like who are you and despite me trying to pin down all of these attributes about God's character and coming up short

I still had to recognize just how sweet God was I wasn't even getting yet to the place where I needed to be but he didn't leave me there he didn't leave me in the wilderness with nothing I looked for a therapist for almost a year last year with failed attempts too many bookings not the right fit and I immediately found someone I fit with and who had time for me during this season I because of the leading of Pastor Jess was able to also steal her spiritual advisor from her

I mean we share her now but she was gracious enough to let me in on that when I so needed it I was a part of a church a church leadership that when people found out that I was going through this season no one tried to rush me through it I was always invited back to this stage I was never assumed to return and every single sermon I had such a hard time coming to church in January I still remember my first week oof I just I wanted to run

and I've heard Richard, Ramon and Becky preach so many times throughout the year so many but there has never been a season any of their sermons where I have felt them staring at me so much as they talked I was like there are other people here right it was like daggers and the thing is I showed up here that first Sunday back Richard was preaching and I did not feel worthy of coming through those doors because I had so many doubts what did Richard preach about the fact that

Jesus is not afraid of our doubts following week Ramon I was still trying to wrestle with this idea of why I couldn't understand why Jesus would take this little girl's life and then all of this drama would ensue what did Ramon talk about it didn't even have to do with his sermon he came up here and said I I'm a musician and I sometimes get asked to do funerals and they're really hard and I recently had to go to one for a little girl he goes and I don't

know why that happened I just know that God is sovereign I was like okay write to me got it and then Becky the morning that Becky preached that weekend I was attempting to come back together but then I realized that I no longer felt worthy of this place the words out of my mouth were why do you want me I'm no good and she came up here she wasn't supposed to but I'm glad she did it anyway she came up here and she preached about Jesus' lineage

and not just his lineage the roots of his lineage that were just littered with women who were no good but important all of that directly to my heart and I had no idea how long this season was going to last but what I knew for sure is that if I came out of this my first sermon back would have to be talking about this wilderness and then a few weeks back I get an email from Pastor Jess asking me if I'm ready to come back and letting me know that the series is

going to be on wilderness I laughed and then I saw that the only week I could do was on this passage and this specific point about asking Jesus to perform for us to show that he loves us and I went to bed that night thinking that this still doesn't apply to me at all I was like I love this series Lord I know you want me to do this but come on I don't connect to this my ego is huge and so right as just a quick side note I

sleep with my dog Rosie in the bed and she for that entire week refused to sleep in my bed she'd get very antsy and run out and then as soon as I go to the living room and sleep with her on the couch she was out in a second she could not settle in my room and I couldn't figure out why and so that night I went to sleep on the couch and I woke up after a dream and the dream was now I'm very sorry if

all of you think I'm super weird after this but I am like I said very charismatic so bear with me don't be scared of me after this so I had a dream that I was in my apartment in the same space where I was sleeping and I woke up to noises above me and outside and as I woke up I saw something in my hallway the hallway where I've always felt something but I saw it real this time it was a spirit of some kind probably a demon and it was

a female which I always thought it was going to be a man anyways it was a female and I remember her being in a t-shirt she had on some shorts a weird outfit but the moment that I saw her in my dream I was terrified I was absolutely terrified and the next thing I remember is looking at Rosie and then we decide that we're going to go for it we're going to try to get this thing and tackle it and so we run to get this demon and as

I'm coming up my left arm touches it and in that moment I realize that it's real like I can feel it and I see her she's not an aggressive dog at all but she's ready to take this thing down and I see her going up to bite this thing and in that moment once I touch it I realize we need help and so before she can make contact out of my mouth screams in the name of Jesus you have to leave and in that moment I came to I came

to saying those words in my apartment I woke up immediately and the next words that came out of my mouth were Emmanuel I even never felt the presence of God like I did in that space I never understood why I was going through this season why I couldn't figure out the character of God it was never about me figuring out the character of God or what he was it was me truly finally figuring out who he was that he is Emmanuel he is with us always and to be honest I

have no idea if that demon spirit whatever it is left that hallway because it didn't matter the moment that Jesus was there that's all that mattered that was it and ever since that night Rosie sleeps in my bed again so weird so so weird but I woke up and I was so excited because I realized that I was the devil and I was writing all these things down and I was like oh my god that's who I am in this story oh my oh wow bad and so I'm

I'm writing all of this down and just so thankful to God for bringing me here because I didn't care about anything else of his character I just knew that he was with me because the thing is things are still going to suck things might not change my stepmom's going to be sick her entire life and she thinks she's going to stay that way because she realizes that she's an inspiration to others because she loves God and knows that God is with her and it doesn't matter right she gets

it Emmanuel and I finally did and I was so excited I was writing all this down I didn't actually do my devotional that day and the next day I went back what's it about the day that I was supposed to do it Emmanuel it's just all so sweet and it's never been about his performance it's always been about his presence and it took me this long to figure that out in a deep way I knew that I could preach that but I didn't know it but I know this just

like how Jesus was willing to walk through the desert for 40 days just as he was willing to hang out in the desert with the Israelites the Lord for years just as he was able to embrace the devil so was he willing to do it with us he says to us I give you no reason to doubt me but if you must do it do it as many times as you'd like because no matter how many times your fragile heart needs to put my goodness my mercy my holiness and my love to the

test I will always I will always prove to you that I am exactly who I say I am the one true king he never comes up short and I don't know what that is for you I don't I don't know what area of your life you are asking God to perform in instead of preside but I beg you to figure it out it was life-changing for me it has completely shaken me thankfully I had people around me to help me walk through this season it was necessary and I

wasn't alone I wanted to share this with you this morning to encourage you that through my story through the story of Matthew and I know through millions of other stories maybe stories in this room that they all end the same way that God is affirming of who he says he is and that's how he affirms us right so if you're going through a wilderness season right now or perhaps feel one coming on if you're super spiritual like that please know please leave with this I ask you to look at this question

sincerely in your heart in what areas of your life are you asking God to perform in instead of preside because it changed my life but overall if this is your wilderness season right now please know that you are there with purpose please and the purpose is for God to bring you even deeper please know that you are not spiritually or tangibly alone at any moment especially if you're a part of this church and please know that you do not need a show of God's love you just need to walk in it

and lastly that just as it was in Jesus's wilderness season when you're ready an army of angels is waiting to lead you out let's pray Lord I thank you and I love you I thank you for the ability to speak about your love and about your goodness and I pray Lord that if anyone here is questioning questioning either of those things in their life how much you adore them Lord I pray that your presence just overwhelms them you don't need to show us you don't need to perform remind us of that deep in

our heart the place in which you live where you've always been where you were created to be within us Lord I just pray that over every single person here that they take a look at what areas of their life they're asking you to do something instead of wanting to just be with you I thank you for wanting to be with us in your name we pray amen